I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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