I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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