No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
