Sponge bath it is.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
