I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
