All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
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Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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