i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
