i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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