Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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