Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
