So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
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I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
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This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Holy sore nipples Batman
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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