You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
