why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
