so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
