i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
They have beer where we have blood.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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