Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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