I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize