please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
