Just cropdusted the office
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
