i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
