just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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