dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
