O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I currently don't understand fingers.
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