ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
COCAINE IS GR8
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