I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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