what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
