Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize