So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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