I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
