Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
