im drinking this country out of the recession.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
ok first of all what the fuck
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
