The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
