i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
