he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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