What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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