dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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