could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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