p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
