your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
