But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
