i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
