There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
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Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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