I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
