Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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