she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
