Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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