Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
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Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
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I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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