The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
