he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
