I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize