smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I will pee on everything he values.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
