Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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