Michael Bay diarrhea
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
