oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
