lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think my vagina is haunted
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
