Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
