i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
