In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
