I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Randomize
