I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize