When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
