Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
did you just send me my own nude
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
