Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
