addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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