I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
