i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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