My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
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im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
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My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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