Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize